5 years ago today, I was one day postop. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy, bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy, appendectomy , omentectomy and multiple lymph node dissection. Sounds invasive right? it was. I knew I had cancer, however at this point I didn't know the extent. The biopsy I had prior just said I had cancer cells in my uterus that didn't originate there. Naively I thought I was going into surgery, getting everything out and then I would be able to go to the status quo of my life. I had to concentrate on healing the excruciating pain my body was experiencing. Intuitively I knew to send love and light to my pelvic cavity and abdominal wound.
When I returned home, I was blessed to have the most supportive husband and mom and extended family. My inner little girl just wanted to be nurtured. There is nothing quite like a mom's love. It is healing. She stayed with me for a month. When mom and I went to see the oncologist we only got to see a resident who was not very good yet at delivering bad news. I knew what questions to ask, but she did not know how to deliver gently or to allow the patient to be informed and hopeful. I asked what grade and stage the cancer was. She just said I had mets and that the primary wasn't in the uterus. Mom and I left feeling numb and in shock. I thought I was going to die. Thank God, when I got home, my sister and my mom took it upon themselves to jump into action for answers. My sister had worked for the cancer clinic for 20 years so she knew who to call to get the answers we seeked. The head of oncology called my mom back and we got all the answers.
Stage 3 serous carcinoma of the peritoneum with mets to the uterus, cervix, tubes, ovaries and appendix. Lymph nodes clear. Chemo highly suggested. Carbo Taxol x 6 rounds. Whew!! what a diagnosis. I had an out of body experience. Me? Cancer?? NO!!! I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. I wanted to experience my 25th wedding anniversary. I wanted to see Paulo jr graduate. Right then and there I resolved to heal. That is the moment I met my soul. I tuned into that part of me that is God and I asked Him in to my life in a way that I never had before. I was compliant with western medicine and I tuned into my spiritual guidance. I felt the hand of my grandma Josephine, in spirit, helping me. I felt my friend Ann-Marie loving me from the other side. I also felt all my guardian angels with me. I began to be open to reiki, biofeedback, sound therapy, herbs, marine phytoplankton. I prayed, meditated and listened to Hayhouse radio for your soul. I was guided to teachers, gurus, and mentors. I went to retreats to heal my old wounds. I went to Oprah twice. I saw Deepak Chopra, Iyanla Vanzant, Tony Robbins, and Rev TD Jakes. I went to John of God in Toronto. I took my healing seriously. I knew I had to heal mind, body, spirit. I learned to think positive and to ask God and the angels for love, support, guidance, inspiration and healing. I had to learn to love myself as much as I have loved everyone else my whole life.
This journey brought me to today. I feel whole, perfect and complete even though I still carry extra weight. I know healing is an evolution. It starts the day I was born and will continue until I return to spirit. I know I am spirit embodied. I know God created me. I have a daily spiritual practice and I spend time with God each day. I know life is a journey. It is not always easy. That is part of growth. The hard parts are where we learn the lessons we are in earth school to experience. We are supported through it all. It is all in how we choose to see it. We can choose to sit in fear of the future and in anger at the experiences or we can choose to travel through each day in trust. I choose TRUST.
I know only love is real. Fear is an illusion. I know fear is ego. I tell my ego to get lost and I centre my energy with the strength of God and the angels he gifted us with.
If I can ever help you with an angel card reading and or positivity coaching, or just an ear to listen, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
God bless you all,
"the name of the Lord is a strong Tower, The Righteous man runs into it and is safe" - proverbs 18:10
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love" - Marcus Aurelius
"If you believe it will work out, you will see opportunities. If you believe it won't, you will see obstacles" - Wayne Dyer
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