Having your fur daughter pass in your arms, with her little head on your heart, was one of the hardest life lessons I have ever had to walk through. There is not a moment of any day since January 18th 2016 that has gone by that I don't think of her and miss her terribly. My physical body aches with her loss.
Bella was not just any doggie. She was one of the sweetest souls I have ever had the privilege of loving, nurturing, growing with and healing with.
In June 2011, Bella was only 4 years old. That is when I was diagnosed with stage 3 peritoneal cancer. I was devastated and scared. Family and friends were interesting in their energies in response to the diagnosis I had been given. Some people showed up more. Some disappeared. The word CANCER scares people and instead of dealing with the unknown and perhaps facing your death, some people ignore you. After all, everyone has their own lives to live. The only soul that loved me unconditionally was this little girl Bella.
She would follow me everywhere. She would cry when I left the house. She would wag her tail wildly when I returned and jumped up and down until I picked her up to cuddle her. She was pure love.
As I healed my body, Bella was my constant companion. When I walked through my hell days of chemo and could only lay on the couch, Bella would curl up behind my knees and just stay there until I moved.
Bella only weighed a few pounds but she thought she was a guard dog. I will never forget the day I was working at my kitchen table and she she starting barking incessantly. That made me look outside and there was an intruder! Thank God she warned me. I had enough time to call the police and my husband. They apprehended the guy and all returned to safety.
Bella especially loved, Paulo sr, Paulo jr and Pina so so much. Bella thought she was Paulo jr brother. She would protect him if I raised my voice. She sensed when he didn't feel good and would sleep in his room on the floor.
In the early years she would sleep in the laundry room. After the illnesses Paulo jr and I walked through, she would no longer sleep there and insisted to sleep in my room right under my head of the bed on the side I slept on. She wanted to be close to us.
Bella became ill the winter of 2015. By January 1, 2016 she was seriously ill. she lost so much weight and was so skinny. We called the vet who did tests. Initially it was thought that she had diabetes, however it was assumed she had cancer and the vet asked us to make a decision on how to proceed.
It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. I knew she needed to depart the physical world in peace and with grace and dignity. The vet validated that.
Thank you to "Vets to Go" who sent Dr. Paty to us. Dr. Paty and I cried and cried. Bella was playful up until I picked her up for the procedure to begin. Her playfulness was a testament to her love for us.
Paulo sr. had to work the day Bella departed. He was the one who walked Bella every day. He wasn't here as Bella crossed the rainbow bridge, but I made it beautiful. I sang to her and I prayed over her. Paulo jr was here with me too. Bella was so loved by my sister Pina and loved Pina so so much.
Bella was and continues to be our fur angel.
Pets aren't just animals. They are souls in fur. They are an important part of the family. My heart is healing. My family is healing. I miss her so much. Paulie was brave and held her limp body after she returned to Heaven. I am so grateful for this fur angel. I can't wait to see her again in heaven. In the meantime she sent us a sign in the clouds..... see below.
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