Today is a very interesting day to use all the tools I have learned over the last 52 years. Today I decided was a day to let go of a grievance. "A course in Miracles" course teaches us to forgive. Forgiveness brings peace and freedom. Sometimes you can forgive in person, and sometimes not. Today I decided to phone someone up in order to forgive and move on. I prayed for guidance and called in all my angels. As the phone was ringing I was nervous. When this person picked up, she was already in attack mode. I spoke clearly, calmly and with love. I tried to explain but she said to me " We used to love you, but we have our limits!" You see that? that is a condition put on loving me. I have to admit that I was choked, but my dear mentor's voice popped in my head and I could clearly hear her say "Love yourself sis!" you got this! You have done so much work to heal. I see you.. I love you. I also heard Mother Mary in my head assuring me I had done the right thing. I have a kind heart. I am human. I know I am not a perfect person, but I do know that I have healed so much in the 8 months since the episode occurred where I was not my best self. I was grieved so intensly that I reacted to something instead of responding. But that day was pivotal in that I intended to learn and heal and grow my soul so that I am a better person. Just because she can't see it, doesn't mean it is not real.
I told her I would not be yelled at, said goodbye, and hung up. I was hurt and decided to go and get a burger at A&W. I got some air. As we were driving a big lady bug dropped onto the roof of my car. That is a sign from Mother Mary. Mother Mary healing quality is self- love. That was huge for me to love myself enough to not give one more ounce of myself to the negativity of this lesson and to only continue to send love. This is their lesson now.
This painting is from http://velvadawn.com - The Goddess Healing Matrix System course. Card #2.
Mother Mary is prevalent in my life. She is the mother of Jesus, our Holy Mother and A Divine Goddess.
She teaches us to love ourself and to fill our cups with love by nurturing yourself. Her colour is rose pink and her crystal is rose quartz.
Women must give love to themselves so that can be of service to their family and loved ones. When we continuously give to others, as I have, we forget to fill our own cups and then we get into trouble and start feeling bitter and resentful toward the very people whom we love the most. We must tell ourselves " I love you" and really learn to believe it.
Today I love myself enough to move on. I must forgive and send love. I have healed my worthiness and my feelings of not being enough. I have always felt inferior my entire life, and to be told today that I thought I was better than her was a huge shock. My 5 fears that I have worked through are
1. not being enough
2. not being liked
3. feeling worthy
4. being judged
5. giving my power away.
As she is my mirror I will learn from this. I will fill myself up. I will live from my spirit and not my ego. I know the truth. I apologized way more times than they ever have so now I "LET GO". I learn the value in this lesson, I will teach from it and I will keep moving forward. I don't need to beg people to like or love me. I am loved and lovable. The right people will see me.
A Course in Miracles also teaches me I am whole, perfect and complete.
I am a piece of God himself. I am love and I am light. I am!!
God bless you all.
Love and angel blessings.
I love you.
this is the lady bug on my car.
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