Today I realized that it has been 5 years since my second cancer surgery. I am officially 5 years cancer free, although I was diagnosed in 2011, six years ago. Cancer was a huge wake up call for me.
I have always been Catholic. I still consider myself Catholic, however now I know I have experienced an expansion of my soul. When I was so sick and walking through the baldness of chemotherapy affects, I was angry and I called out to God. I screamed out loud, why me? and I heard Him say ' Why not you miss Giuliana?' Wow! I had an out of body experience. It was the biggest aha moment I have ever had. So in rebuttal I said to Him " ok if why not me, then I need help! I want help to stay around in life longer. I want to live with my son and experience more life. I want to help him. Please allow me healing." I knew He was listening because I began to listen to my spirit. I felt guided to teachers, mentors, guides, experiences, courses, retreats. I learned and I knew I had to be committed. I tuned in to life. I listened to the voice of God in my life. I wanted to be the best me I have ever been.
As I walked through the healing I cried when I needed to. Chemo is painful, however I had the best husband God could have ever sent me. He and I became a strong team. And even when we were challenged and our human selves wanted to bale, we held strong onto the love. He helped me. He and my son and my family and some close friends helped hold me up. I thank God for all of them.
As I healed I realized I had spent most of my life wanting something different than what I already have. I always wanted the body of some of my friends. Nothing I had seemed enough. As I awoke spiritually, I began to let go of what others had and began to count all my blessings. All of a sudden I noticed just how blessed I am!!
As my body is healing, I had to take a good long look at it. I learned to talk to my body. This body that I have hated my whole life, birthed a child. Is a lover to my husband, is an amazing friend, daughter, sister and mother. I had to start loving it and telling it thank you! I have been so critical of it. After all its all it has known. After all the name calling and energy it has absorbed, is it any wonder it manifested migraines, diabetes, and cancer? Yes, I began to love it and talk to it. I thank it every day for caring for me by pumping all the blood daily. For allowing me to live! to grow, to see, to feel and mostly to heal.
A Course In Miracles truly was pivotal for free. I learned I am not the body. I am the soul. I learned in order to heal I have to let go of all grievances. That we are all part of one and that each of us is a brother and sister to each other. I learned to speak kindly to myself. I became even more enlightened. I began watching myself like a hawk and fully embraced that we are each love and light and deserve forgiveness.
I recognize I am who God created me to be. I am perfect, whole and complete in spirit. I am not what I have done and that even if something I have done I am not proud of, I am forgiven!
I love my life and all the lessons it has brought me. I experienced what Grace is and I know I have the deep power and wisdom within me to heal. I no longer seek as much external validation, although it does feel good to hear " good job giuliana!"
I love sharing my life with humanity via Facebook and my website and my continued acts of service and acts of kindness.
I thank my teachers for showing up. I thank God for sending them. I find gratitude in each day. I learn and grow through grief and I love and appreciate my body right now the size it is. For I know I am as God created me. I am good enough for Him I am good enough for me and therefore I am good enough. I continue to learn and grow through the five lessons of earth school. 1. Faith 2. Trust 3. Forgiveness 4. Compassion 5. Unconditional love.
I know the Universe has my back and that I have the support of God, guides, angels and my family and friends in spirit.
Paulo Coelho teaches " When you want something, all the Universe conspires to help you achieve it!"
I knew I wanted more life in physical. I am not afraid of death of physical. I know God is real. I know the angels are real. I know I am so much more than this body that I chose to experience life here. I am an every expanding spirit and soul. I am committed to healing and seeing life differently than I did before. I have gratitude for my body. I now bless myself and love myself enough to heal. When I get down, or feel sad or mad or whatever, I now have so many tools to rise up strong again!! I no longer judge myself or compare myself. when I do question, I speak with my mentor and gain clarity. What trigger am I having and why?
I thank God for my life. As I thank my life, my body, my experiences I begin to experience miracles. It is said that you can see nothing as a miracle or everything as a miracle. I see miracles daily. What an amazing playground and school God created for us. I now see I am a powerful co-creator and have manifested amazing experiences. I no longer cry over the old job! Instead I celebrate this life I have. Right now I am in my office surrounded by books I love, invoices from Paulo's Painting that will be paid and afford us luxuries and I give thanks. I can call friends when I want. I can work in my pajamas until 3. I can supper with my Goddess girls when I want. My boss and CEO is God. How blessed am I that a diagnosis of cancer brought me some of the best days of my life. And how glorious it is to know that some of the best days of my life are still awaiting my arrival?
The truth is this my friends. All disease is because we are suppressing emotions. Our physical body is holding on to all that pain, shame, guilt, trauma etc. It is also manifesting those experiences of disease because of our disconnect with Source, with our Creator, with the Divine, with that Power that is greater than us. That Power we call Omnipotent, Infinite, Almighty, the Alpha and the Omega, the Mystery of life- All the names we refer to as GOD. Connect back to Him. Dig deep to heal. One day you will realize the help has been there all along. All you had to do was ASK for it.
All disorder, disease, misalignment and dysfunction you are experiencing is in direct proportion to your lack of connection to Source.
Right now ask yourself these three questions that I learned from Deepak Chopra ( you all know how much I love his guided meditations )
1. Who am I ?
2. What do I want?
3. Where do I come from?
What comes to you? Deepak further teaches, that in reality there is only one victory and that is the victory of consciousness!!! Awaken my friends. Seek out more for your life. With expansion comes great freedom. The freedom to be who you were meant to be. The freedom to be your unbounded self. Learn presence and stay present. Presence is this moment right now, right here. It is all we know we have for sure.
We get out of alignment when we are living in the past. We become depressed. Step out of the history. Yes you have that power. It is a choice. Stay stuck or not. Heal or not. Grow or not. That is your Divine free will. Also don't live in the future. Living in the future makes you anxious. Have hope for the future and don't worry about most things that will never happen. Trust that the Universe is supporting you. It is.
Let go of the past because you deserve freedom. Choose happy and count your blessings. If you would love to learn a daily spiritual practice that I use daily and that has helped me shift from unwell to well, I am available to be of service. I am so happy now. I know I am a spirit embodied. I chose this lifetime. I came to earth with all the tools and deep wisdom to get though anything I have chosen. I know I have God, the angels and wonderful family and friends to help me. I know we are never alone. I know we are all connected and it has made all the difference.
I want to leave you with this thought. We are spiritual warriors!!! We are Divine Expressions of God's Infinite Love and with every breath we are learning, growing healing and expanding. We are love. We are light!!
Hallelujah and Amen. thank you God.
I am soul Giuliana.
I am so grateful for this life.
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